I fail

At times when silence creeps between our words

I fail to explain the reasons, the causes, the dilemma,

And at that moment i feel like,

untouched pain arises in the vicinity of my existence,

like it has been discovered for the first time....

My love is dimensionless
and I fail to mould it in any shape
I know dear, my doubts stand on false notions
but I know they arise to fall and die forever....

They say i am possessive
But I fail to make them realise
this is something that I own, its already mine.

I want to show you countless colours of my love
But I fail to traverse them all myself.
As colours are added every single day,
every single minute, every single second,
and they just keep on adding with every breath I take.
and I hope you understand its my love,
and it has to be so different from hers or others..........

Letters

she scribbles a note of shimmering rains and thundering clouds
of monsoon cassia and rainforests
of dews and drops
of wet afternoonsof her drenched clothes and soaky shimmering skinof her rain soaked sandals andof two coffee cupsthen she sighs
with tears she writes her last sentence
"our forbidden love"
she slips it into the envelope.
outside the window,
a scorching sun just witnessed one of her lies

Residues

Residues of your love, just mourn their identity.

My charred skin looks not pretty any more.

Mornings are untouched just like nights,

These thirsty lips have nothing to hold.

They just sung melodies of forgotten love now.

Lust forges love, void surrounds my heart,

Kill me for my sins, and take out my flesh,

As my soul in torment, longing for submission,

Takes a forbidden path.

Listen to my unspoken words.

As I still love you for not loving me………

Enlightenment

I escape in wide horizons,
I run in wide spread free spaces.
my gloomy soul that serves its own obnoxious flesh,
seeks enlightenment, seeks a final plight.

it soaks in dimensions of rays
it sojourns in colourless dunes
but still,
apart from its sins
it shimmers as god's own child in few susceptible moments.
moments wrapped in sweet conversations
heart opening up to soul, in those rare moments.


enlightenment,  not as sweet
as written or talked
it splits priorities and judgement
making me bitter and coarser with each day

still i walk bare foot,, still miles to go
I am starving in scorching heat
all this to find myself
whom I have lost many years ago
in shadows of others.

Just a last chance to see within my soul
if i am still alive..

Myself

Some day you will understand my agonies my torments!

reasons, I chose to trespass my own hidden lies,

reasons for which I faked in your absence,

about you, about me, about us.

Years have passed and spaces are shrinking,

survival is difficult with this burdensome smile.

I have realized and I believe you too will understand,

my room needs a wider window,

or may be I do not want any walls to live in,

that little flower in my balcony

reminds me of my beautiful cruel cheating,

No more roses, its emptiness in its absence may full me more now.

my deceptive looks have worn out,

it is time to say I know myself,

with all bitter truths, I find myself today.

If you still love me,

may be someday I will love myself too.....

Rosemary

While transcending the roads with pebbles

Clutched by loneliness, she surrenders to him

He makes her a wanderer like himself

She remembers the flower in her hair

Tugged and still fresh, rosemary scented

Yes he loved its charms and followed her

He withdraws his eyes as she gazes him

He was hiding secrets she never came to know

Days, months, decades have passed

He had left her and so is love

But Rosemary is still fresh

Reminding her of her youth,, she envies it

Cannot pull it apart, she had become one rosemary herself

She will be picked by someone someday like she had picked one long ago……………